Just Us
by NaniAniMay
Summary: "Sebastian wasn't sure whether or not to be angered by the new arrival's audacity (and general past interactions with him), or amused by his master's reaction." They were infuriating. All five of them. Ciel didn't know how they they knew all they did, he'd never really met them before the Ripper case. The only thing he really knew about them was how much he hated them.


The carriage came to a slow halt in front of the crime scene, and the commissioner of Scotland Yard, Lord Arthur Randall, stiffened dramatically. The Chief Inspector, Fred Abberline, looked on confused.

From the carriage came five boys, all with stoic looks on their faces, and all outfitted almost entirely in white. The first one was the shortest, and his clothes were by far the finest of the group's. He had short brown hair hanging in his green eyes, matching the earth-toned embroidery lacing his outfit. His walking stick could be heard tapping the ground with every step he took, and he approached the commissioner with an air of absolute confidence.

"Randall," he said, looking up at him.

"Robins..." Lord Randall was more than annoyed at the young man's appearance.

"That's Lord Robin's to you, Commissioner," he replied, sounding almost bored. And then he smiled, as if nothing was the matter.

"Hn. Well then, _Lord_ Robins, I assume you're here for the case files? Earl Phantomhive hasn't yet come to the crime scene so it's still legitimate."

"Why wouldn't it be legitimate otherwise?" One of the taller boys, several years older than Lord Robins, appeared beside them, adjusting his glasses. He had shaggy blonde hair, and unnerving golden eyes that sparkled as if he were constantly laughing. He wore a long brown overcoat, which mostly hid the white butler's clothing underneath.

"Watch your tone, boy," Randall spat. "This is no place for the likes of you."

"I beg to disagree," he replied- his voice as smooth as silk- and put his hand over his heart. "This is exactly where I need to be; at my master's side." He then turned to Abberline, who had only grown more and more confused. "I don't believe we've met. I am Sir Justin Green, butler to the Robins family." He gave a light bow.

"Oh? Um, I'm Fred, Fred Abberline. I'm a detective with the Yard." Green nodded.

"Those three," he said, gesturing to the group behind him, "are Sirs Allen, Perry, and Cotter." They bowed as their names were called, black, red, and brown hair falling in their eyes respectively. Justin smiled, and Lord Robins smirked.

"We will be taking over your case."

"Oy, Theo," Allen said, pointing over at the crowd. "The body's this way, I'm gonna take a look." He walked away before the Yard could protest.

"Hey! Idiot! Don't forget your gloves!" Perry shouted, running after him. Cotter stayed by the carriage, tending to the horses. Randall just sighed, and gestured for Abberline follow them. He complied, still very confused. When they had dispersed, Theo turned back to Randall. The commissioner reluctantly held out the case files, and Green took them, smiling. He walked away as he read, leaving Robins and Randall together.

"I'll thank you to know that I'm about as happy about this as this as you are," the young lord said, pursing his lips. He rolled his eyes and pushed his bangs out of the way before continuing, "These murders have been going on far longer than either of us would like to admit, and due to the nature of them, Her Majesty saw fit to assign ourselves along with the Guard Dog. Hence, my arrival."

"Hmph. Just take the papers and get out of my sight, runt, I don't care if you're the Queen's personal pets, you defile my country and it makes me sick." Justin handed the papers back, smirking.

"Defile? Don't confuse us with the Guard Dogs, Randall. Our roles are completely different." Robins nodded, before turning back towards the carriage.

"Gather the rest of them, we need to depart for _his_ place." Green nodded, and bowed lightly.

"Yes, Your Grace." He then turned towards the crime scene, put his fingers in his mouth, and whistled loudly. From their various places inspecting bodies, Sirs Allen and Perry immediately straightened up and walked back to the carriage. They all filed in with Cotter manning the horses, and Robins giving a cheerful little wave behind him.

As soon as he was sure they were gone, Lord Randall growled loudly and said,

"The damn swans!"

.:^:.

The five of them filed into the Undertaker's residence, all but Lord Robins sitting down on a coffin. The people that were already there- they had likely only arrived only a moment beforehand- gave them exaggerated stares; some of surprise, some of curiosity, and one of extreme, unadulterated anger.

"What the bloody hell are you doing here, Robins?" Ciel Phantomhive shouted, walking over from beside his butler. Robin's smirked, and glanced at Lord Phantomhive's group. There was Madam Red and her butler, Grell Sutcliffe, the Chinaman Lau, and Ciel's own butler, Sebastian.

"Nothing much. I've been sent to solve your case, I hope you don't mind." Sebastian wasn't sure whether or not to be angered by the new arrival's audacity (and general past interactions with him), or amused by his master's reaction. To put it plainly, if looks could kill, Lord Robins would be burning in a ditch somewhere.

The ensuing argument was cut off before it could begin by an eerie laugh.

"Hee hee!" the voice giggled. "I have been expecting you." There was a creaking sound, and the lid of one of the few upright coffins slid off. Inside was a man with long silver hair down past his waist, and old, black robes that hid everything except his head and his hands. The most noticeable thing about him was his wide, unfaltering grin, and the thorn-shaped scar cutting across his face. "I bid thee welcome, Lord Earl," he drawled. Lord Robins had no doubt that he was simply taking glee in their reactions. "Has your lordship finally decided to step into the coffin that I've made specially for you?" Ciel's expression went from angered to bored as his attention was drawn away from Theo.

"I think not. Today I am-"

"Ahh, and my Lord Duke has come today as well? What a rare treat. I have a coffin prepared for you too, if you wish to try it?" His grin seemed to get wider.

"Undertaker, I am-" Ciel was silenced yet again, this time by a long-nailed finger over his mouth. The Earl looked utterly repulsed; Robins just smirked.

"You don't need to say it. I understand very well what Milord wishes to say."

"Hm?" Green asked. Sebastian gave him an odd look, and Green returned it.

"She wasn't a _customer_ in the _ordinary folk_ sense of the word. See, I cleaned her up _right_ nice and pretty."

"I want to hear about that," the noble boys said at once. They gave each other incredulous looks, before Undertaker once again broke the tension with his idiocy.

"Then let's have a chat, I'll make some tea or something," he said cheerfully. "Won't you just take a seat somewhere over there? The Swans have the right idea, you see?" Phantomhive and company stared at the Robins crew, who were smiling from the coffins for no reason at all.

.:^:.

"Now then," Undertaker started, "you want to hear about Jack the Ripper, yes?" Everyone nodded. "The Yard's starting to get their knickers in a bunch about it now, but this isn't the first customer I've had like that."

"Not the first time? What do you mean?" Madam Red interrupted from her seat, holding a beaker of tea in her lap.

"In the past, there've been a number of cases involving murdered whores. But the intensity and cruelty with which they're done in continues to escalate. Biscuit, milord?" He held out a little jar to Ciel, who refused. Theo did as well, but Gregor and Arthur- Perry and Cotter, that is- were brave enought to try one. "Anyways, the Yard failed to notice because the murders weren't terribly bloody at the outset, but all the prostitutes killed in Whitechapel had a little something in common."

"Something in common?" Robins and Phantomhive chorused; they continued to glare at each other.

"...You say," Sebastian mumbled.

"Well, what could it be?" Undertaker grinned some more, and he clasped his hands on the now shut biscuit jar. "Whatever could it be? Wouldn't you like to know?"

"I see, that's how it is," Lau said, standing from his spot. Ciel made a disgusted face, the Robins clan remained neutral. "Being an undertaker is only his facade for normal society. How much do you want for the information?" Undertaker was in his face in a second.

"How much? I do not desire a single one of the Queen's coins!" The creepy old man turned his gaze to the nobles. "Now, Milords, give it to me..." He got up in their faces, rubbing their cheeks with his sleeves and panting like a dog. "Bestow upon me the choicest _laughter_! Do that and I shall tell you anything!" He started having spasms over the side of one of the coffins, and everyone was giving him a look like 'are you serious?'

"That creep," Ciel said.

"For once I think I agree with you," Theo replied.

Perry sighed and started to stand, but Green and Allen practically shoved her back down again, both grinning.

"Lord Earl," Lau began. "Please allow me to handle this... People have called me the sleeping tiger of New Year's parties in Shanghai, and now, I shall demonstrate that in full!"

Pause for dramatic effect.

"A fool on the futon."

...

...

"Oh, you'll never do, Lau," Madam Red said, starting foreword. "Oh, very well... Madam Red, star of the social circles, shall share with you her best tale!"

Before the Madam could begin, Green and Allen both covered Cotter's and Robins's ears, while Sebastian held his own master's. Perry did his best to tune out the lewd tale by humming something insensible, but still caught little details like "His ****** was ******, and his ****** was ****** too!" Green and Allen, unfortunately, we're not spared from the torture.

They were all more than relieved when- an hour later- Undertaker covered the Madam's mouth with a doctors mask and stuck her in the corner with Lau.

"That leaves only you, Milords," Undertaker said, turning away from the two failures. "Last time I was a bit generous, if I do say so myself," he 'whispered' in Ciel's ear. "But no specials this time. Which of you would like to try first?" Robins made no move, and Phantomhive glared.

"Damn..." he whispered. His face shifted from frustration to surprise when his butler took several steps foreword.

"It appears there is nothing for it."

"Ohhh..? It's Master Butler's turn to take a go, now is it?"

"Everyone, please step outside, if you would," the butler requested.

"S-Sebastian?" Ciel was very, very confused.

"Oh, come now, there will be no need for that," Justin intervened, smirking. "I can make him laugh with two words, no secrecy needed." Everyone gave him an odd look, and Arthur immediately doubled over and started giggling, red in the face.

"Oh god, I'm sorry, I'll just-" he stepped outside to clear his head.

"Anyway..." Justin continued. He looked the Undertaker right the eyes- or at least he thought he did, Undertaker's bangs were always in the way- smirked, and said, "Octopus nipples."

The room shook as the old man roared, rolling on the ground and drooling as he laughed. And laughed. And laughed. As it finally died out to a girlish giggle, Undertaker tried and failed to pick himself up from the floor, wheezing out something about telling them everything.

.:^:.

"For a while now, I've occasionally had clients who are... how shall I say... lacking, you see?" Undertaker stepped behind a counter, pulling a model of the human body out from under it. "Yes, quite lacking. Their innards, that is." Everyone in the room stiffened, and seemed to realize they were drinking tea out of used measuring cups.

"So they were all lacking a kidney or some such?" Lau asked, pushing his beaker away. "In that case, the killer is a loan shark or the like..."

"Oh, how frightening, frightening!" Undertaker giggled. "Chinese cellar rats think up the most disturbing things! That's not what I meant." He caressed the model before holding it up and staring at it. " _It_ is something only a prostitute... a girl would possess. This one doesn't have it either." Arthur's eyes widened, and he raised his hand.

"Um, is it a uterus, sir?" he asked, voice tiny and high pitched.

"Yes, exactly, small one!" Undertaker literally threw the model behind him, grin never faltering. "Each girl was missing her uterus." Theo and Ciel glanced at each other, confirming their thoughts. Then they realized exactly who they were looking at and glared.

"Lately, I'm suddenly seeing a rise in such _customers_ , and their crimson _rouge_ is becoming gaudier by the day. It's all keeping me very busy."

"When I looked at the body, everything has been cut pretty cleanly, right?" Allen said. "Wouldn't it take some skill to do it so quick and precise, especially in the dead of night?" Sebastian leered at him, and closed his mouth. He clearly didn't appreciated having his thoughts spoken for him.

"Quite the bright candle, aren't we, Master Groundskeeper? I've considered that myself." He approached Ciel, boots clopping. Theo smirked.

"Well, let's see... first, I'd take something sharp and slash the throat," Undertaker said, grabbing Ciel around the neck and waist. The boy seemed vastly unconcerned. "Then I'd cut right here-" he mimed cutting somewhere on Ciel's abdomen, "and steal away the little precious.

"The skill involved, and the lack of hesitation points to a professional," he continued, bringing his face extremely close to Ciel's, and looping his arm around Theo's neck. "And most likely, someone of the underworld, at that. That is why I knew you would come here, Milord." He pinched Ciel's cheek and released the both of them, before turning to Theo and saying, "Though your appearance is quite unexpected, Your Grace."

"Mm, to be honest, I wasn't expecting it either," Theo replied, glancing at the Earl. "I've never been assigned a case that the Guard Dog was working on as well. It shows how important the issue is to her Majesty, I suppose."

"Ehehehehe, if there were a possibility that the killer belonged to the underworld, I knew that at least the Earl would be summoned without fail," Undertaker continued. "Heed my words, another will die, and so will the murders continue... until someone stops them." Ciel stood up and walked away, seeming completely unfazed by the revelations. "Can you stop the killer, 'Aristocrat of Evil,' Earl Phantomhive?" Undertaker asked. "Or maybe, will you need the help of the White Knights?"

"The underworld has its own rules," Ciel cut in. His butler approached, and helped him with his coat as he spoke. "It's residents do no kill those on the other side without reason, and they do not invade polite society using the powers of the underworld." Lau and Madam Red began collecting themselves, and Ciel walked towards the door. "By our family coat of arms, I vow to eliminate, without exception, all who defile the gardens of the queen..." Green and Allen grinned, "and by any means necessary. Excuse our intrusion, Undertaker." And with that, they left.

Robins let out a sharp laugh, standing up and looking after them.

"Always one for dramatics, isn't he?"

.:^:.

"Well, that certainly was exciting," Theo said, once they were back inside the carriage. Justin sat next to the young lord, and Gregor and Victor sat across from them. Arthur was driving them back to the townhouse.

"As much as advertised?" Justin asked, a bit smug. Theo rolled his eyes and scoffed.

"Maybe just a little bit..."

"HAH!" Gregor barked, grinning. He must have jumped, and that along with the movement of the carriage managed to knock his head against the ceiling and land his hat on the floor, revealing a messy bunch of red curls that went down to his shoulder blades. "Aw, SHIT, this took me ages to get up their right!"

"Watch your language, Grill," Victor said, taking off his- her?- own hat and letting the black locks down. "You've got to stop being such a perfectionist, and it's not like anyone's gonna see us, anyway!"

There was a silent agreement for everyone inside the cabin to let their hair down, both literally and figuratively. Hats and coats were discarded, collars were unbuttoned, and people were smacked in the head with ties and other things. If Cotter wasn't driving, she would have tried brushing out her cute little bob, and though Robins and Green didn't have any extra hair to reveal, they let their voices relax at their normal pitch, and all but Robins dropped the goddamn accent.

Gone were Justin, Gregor, Victor, and Theodore; now it was Jessica Green, Sapphire Pepi, Vivian Alexandris, and Dorothy Robins.

"God, that was _so hard_!" Vivian moaned, running her fingers through her hair.

"What about that was hard?" Jessica asked, smirking.

"Well for starters, having to watch you and that damned demon undress each other with your-"

"AS IF!" Jess shouted, jerking foreword as if to grab the other girl. Everyone laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Sapphire cut in, hitting them both. "I agree though, it was hard to be so stoic around Phantomhive, and I couldn't keep my accent for two minutes this time!"

"Keeping up the act is going to be a lot harder around that crowd," Jessica said, looking at all of them. "He's got a damn demon with him, he can probably smell our lies! And Lord knows what Ciel would do if he found out the truth."

"What," Dorothy said, "The part where you know literally everything there is to know about him and what's going to happen to him for the next several years, or the part that we're women?"

"Yes," everyone else sighed.

"Well what's the worst he could do, I mean-" she stopped, and then looked like she might want to hit something. "Oh, well, telling everyone and being shunned from society is pretty bad, I guess. And there is the possibility of him just making Sebastian kill us?" Jess and Viv nodded. "Damn. What a bitch."

"Young lady!" Vivian shouted. "You are only twelve years old, not nearly-"

"Oh, don't lecture me, Miss Sailor-mouth!" Dot shouted back. They glared at each other for a tense minute, before everyone burst into another fit of laughter. Then there was a moment of contented silence, before the doors were slammed open and Arthur Cotter- also known as Amelia Kuser- shouted giddily,

"Alright! Now what's our next move?"


End file.
